I’ve had a variety of “notebook systems” over the years, covering use-cases from planning my days, organizing projects, creative writing, diary entries, logging all sorts of things, and more.

Over the years I’ve moved more and more into notebooks and away from apps. At first it was simply because I felt cool carrying around and writing in notebooks. I quickly realized though, that when I hand-wrote things, I remembered them faster. Pen and paper also force me to slow down, in a way that is very helpful in developing nascent ideas. Having physical objects, pages, books, etc. allowed me stay more organized than ephemeral data fields in an app did. And the more things I thought to do with notebooks… well, the more things I thought to do with notebooks.

None of this is to say I’m actually organized, or have ever used any combination of notebooks in a way that I was completely happy with and settled into. I’ve iterated over my notebook use for years, sometimes trying specific systems, like Bullet Journaling, other times eking out my own bespoke systems. And sometimes I’ll just stop pretty much everything I’m doing in notebooks because of the ol' ADHD. Inevitably, the pendulum will swing the other way and soon I’ll be hip-deep in Finally Getting Things Organized (For Good This Time (Honest!)), and in the middle of that I’ll be gifted some amazing Japanese stationary that doesn’t actually fit into any of my systems but is oh-so-pretty and satisfying to hold, carry, and use that I’ll just wedge it into an already convoluted process.

And so recently, I found myself with a rickety contraption made of paper, ink, and ribbon bookmarks - and gaping holes. This notebook is reserved for that purpose… that I don’t actually do anymore. And this other notebook I actually use for these three purposes, but then I also sometimes also expand into this other other notebook because the pages are bigger. And this still other notebook I’m not actually using at all yet, but I do carry it around because its so pretty, and I bet I’ll think of something to use it for if I just keep it on hand, ya know? Meanwhile, I really want to start a creative writing project, but can’t until I find exactly the right notebook for it…

If reading that paragraph was maddening, imagine living it.

And so a few weeks ago, I said fuck it - I’m starting over. No more building additions on a house that’s already sitting on a foundation of shifting stands. But I quickly realized that there was no way I could sit down with all of my notebooks and all of my use-cases - both desired and actual - and map out the final draft of a system that met every real and imagined need in a systematic and satisfying way.

And so then I said fuck it again, because I like to swear and also because I needed to start over at starting over. And so I did, with this:

A simple, A5 notebook with a plain cardboard cover with a Godzilla sticker on the bottom right corner.

One, relatively plain, simple A5 notebook. Godzilla sticker added by me because come on, I have to live a little.

It is not my plan to use one master notebook for everything I need - though there is nothing wrong with that approach (and I’ve used it various times in my life). Rather, I am starting as simply and generally as I can, and I want to let how I’m actually using my notebook - what I’m actually doing with my time - organically guide the process of building a system.

For now, anything I might want to do in a notebook I do here. That is, until a given use-case necessitates moving to something else. Then I add a notebook for that use-case. When I have something I want to do with a notebook, I have to actually start doing it first before it gets its own notebook - if it even needs one. What tasks am I actually doing in this books? Can some be smartly combined into one book? Do some require bespoke arrangements? All of those questions can be answered once they are relevant, once I am actually doing the thing, not just thinking about doing the thing.

I have ADHD. That means the things I want to do the most I will spend the most energy to not actually do. I realized a few years ago, when I want to start something - a hobby, a project - I will often busy myself with work around the project until I exhaust myself, thus saving me from having to do the thing I really want to do. I want to play more video games? Let’s spend all of my time crafting well-curated listed of all the games I could play, researching their history and cataloging their critical reviews, and cross-referencing that with how long they take to beat. And wouldn’t that list go great… in a notebook? But what notebook? You’re right, I better figure that out first. I couldn’t possibly actually play a game until I’ve got this settled, right?

Meanwhile I cry in the shower because I’m not engaging with the hobbies I claim to love.

I am tired of circling the runway without ever coming in for a landing. I am tired of almost-doing what I want to do. Rebooting my notebook system won’t fix everything. But it does orient me towards action. It shows me I don’t need to have every detail worked out before I dive into something. And, it shows me how often I was using that feeling - of not having every detail accounted for - as an excuse and distraction, and to feel like I was engaging with something.

If I encounter friction when trying to do something, I want to address the friction and move forward, not pull over and starve on the side of the road because I couldn’t settle on system to figure out what I wanted to get for dinner.

This is a lot of heavy lifting to ask of one notebook. But its also a lot of heavy lifting to ask of one middle-aged weirdo like me. I hope we’re both up to the challenge.